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The #1 Question to Ask Before Using DATING APPS

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What do you think? I want to hear from you!! http://instagram.com/emwilss Emily Wilson.
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Jordan Luciano (4 months ago)
I’m glad I found this video tonight! I literally searched “top dating apps” on Google Friday. I had been on them before and wasn’t content with the outcome, but feel like there is a shortage of guys that I could potentially marry in my life right now. I was reassured that there is a time for everything when in mass Friday. The reading was from Ecclesiastes 3... “a time for embrace and a time to be far from embrace” (a summary) and I just felt at peace, knowing that even though I may be in my time far from embrace that the Lord may have a time for embrace down the road for me & I need to focus on my identity in Him for now. This video helped me realize that not re-signing up was a good decision & I appreciate you sharing!
Mary Swenson (8 months ago)
I like the points you made here. I wish more people were open to having a conversation just to get to know and understand another person. I just tell a guy he's cool and he automatically assumes I want to marry him. Online dating is not for me but my standards are very high due to lowering them in the past and learning from it I'm now very sure of what I want so how not to scare away any guy I have no idea lol
M M (8 months ago)
I honestly love your videos. I find them so helpful. ! You inspire me. I find these apps usually have a very predatory mindset.. a lot of cluster b personality types are on there ( sociopathy, narcissists etc) I used to go on these apps when I need attention.. yup. Not good.
Chaxbs (8 months ago)
Couldn’t agree more!
Oliver Queen (8 months ago)
"most of you are woman" Me: *Looks in mirror* *cries in man tears* 😂 Is it weird for me to be a big fan of Emily? Although I'm male, I like to take note in the advice she gives. She's very informative and has an amazing personality.
TheJanaRina (9 months ago)
Never agreed more with you! I started using Tinder when I was 20 and had really low selfesteem. Though I'd only met my to-be boyfriend in person I got hurt. Back then I signed up for am actual relationship and dating. Now after a 3.5 year relationship I am back at it. This time to sampöe a large pool of guys really fast and find out if what I am lookimg for can really be found in am actual living man. Of course I also enjoy the attention but I do know when to stop amd focus on my life and myself. I also have a ton more selfesteem now than 4 years ago which makes my experience so much better. I also feel like having a clear bio (eg. No hookups) helps keeping some stupid heads away.
Tabitha (9 months ago)
Hey I'm not sure if you'll see this but can you make a video on how you know if you're ready to date? I go through periods of time where I think I want to date and I know what I want, and then at the end I realize I've been so dissatisfied with my experiences because of a self-growth topic like self-confidence or that I need to focus on my goals and not distract myself. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to know when you're really ready- not just when you think you're ready. Thank you for your inspiring and teaching videos- I've learned so much from you about how to respect myself and things to look for in my relationships and my own relationship with myself.
shelby (9 months ago)
I've been reading Sadie Robertson's book Fearless and its crazy that I saw this video before I read in her book that we cannot rely on public affirmation because people change and what they have to say about us changes. These changes in opinions about us bring about our anxiety and fear. God didn't want us to live anxiously or in fear, he wants us to live in peace. We have to stop relying on other people in order to see our value and focus on the Lord because the Lord never changes and He can keep us steady. I learned a lot from this book and I cannot wait to start reading Go Bravely next!
VforVictory 135 (9 months ago)
I tried a dating app a couple of years ago and one thing it taught me and made clear was that my depression/anxiety etc was not conducive to a relationship. And that put things in perspective for me in the sense that a person has to be in a good place emotionally/mentally for a relationship to thrive. And its ok and better to stay out of one.
Lucy Fotu (9 months ago)
So very true! I think figuring out the purpose and reason behind WHY we do things helps a lot in deciding whether something is going to be beneficial or detrimental for us 👌 Thanks Em! ❤
Margo.Basso (9 months ago)
I'm 27 and single, never used a dating app (just CatholicMatch on and off without much success). I'm honestly at a point where I'm at peace with being single. I do long for marriage but I'm not willing to settle and since chastity is SO important to me I don't want to risk anything with the swipe-by dating apps. Great video as always Emily!
Kyrie K (9 months ago)
I've been reading your book and it is amazing! I've ordered some more to pass along to my friends!
Mariana Marquez (9 months ago)
Can you please make a video explaining why this year’s met gala was completely disrespectful?
Jeweleen M (9 months ago)
thank you so very much for making this video. i have done the whole online dating thing before and it didnt workout... but i believe now that i am in a better place then i was before to possibely start the porcess again.
Kayleigh Teston (9 months ago)
I'm married, and happy...but I think this video is great! I used a dating app in the past, it was a half good/ half bad. The messages I got were mostly bad ( guys being " pigs") BUT I did meet a great guy..after weeding out the bad. We broke up many years ago but it wasn't all bad.
sdfjkgrace (9 months ago)
VeganVintageGeek (9 months ago)
Also my reason for not being/logging into my only dating app. Is there is some very major issues going on in my life. And I have chosen not to date right now. I am working very hard and praying about this situation. And once I am fully away from this issue and can heal first from what is going on in my life then I can and will be free to date again. I will not be good company to anyone at the moment and do not want to burden someone with this issue. Which I learned is a demonic spirit that has been hanging around my life ever since I came to christ, in 2001. With prayer and God pointing me to godly advice and friends who are great listening ears and who are also helping me. I am becoming a much more stronger woman who use to play the victim card. And now I know better Aslan is on the move and my situation is getting better a tiny bit each time.
Alissa R (9 months ago)
Wow!! I was literally just on my tinder, talking to this random guy who definitely only wanted to hook up. I was annoyed but kept on talking to him for the exact reason you were talking about...wanting validation. It's not like I denied this either. When I told people that I used tinder, I said that I liked seeing who swiped right on me and if they were attractive or not. I would go on it while bored just to get attention. It doesn't make me happy though. It actually makes me crave even more attention because it isn't positive attention that I receive. Thank you for encouraging not only me, but others who don't use it for the right reasons, to get off of it. I don't have any Christian friends because even though I was raised Christian, I have only recently decided to give my life to Christ. All of my friends see nothing wrong with me using tinder just for attention. Thank you so so much <3
Sara Wawa (9 months ago)
I’ve downloaded a dating app before (only lasted 12 hours), because I didn’t want to be single/felt super (unhappily) single. But it turns out that not wanting to be single is different from wanting to be in a relationship
KatiesCovers (9 months ago)
Lol forget validation, I'm looking for a husband!! Also -- I once briefly dated a guy I met on Tinder who was also saving sex for marriage! It is possible!
Joan Sequeira (9 months ago)
so glad you posted this! been waiting for this topic! :)
Joan Sequeira (9 months ago)
Also I totally wish I had watched this in college before I realized what a mistake dating apps can be, what you say is sooo true. A lot of girls need to here this
Kasandra Quijano (9 months ago)
Love this so much! I am 26 and very rarely date. I downloaded a dating app a couple of weeks ago and was so uncomfortable with it. I think I was looking for validation from my friends and family that I was "putting myself out there" because the older I get the more they worry, which makes me start to worry. Ultimately I believe that God has predetermined a time for me to meet my future husband and He will keep me at peace. Those times I feel restless are really only when other people make me feel like I'm not doing enough to meet someone. This video is exactly what I needed, thank you!
Laught3rIsLovabl3 (9 months ago)
Hi Emily, i just wanted to say thank you for the reminder about self worth and self confidence. These past couple of days have been really hard on me, my ex who has been my ex for 3 years now recently had a baby with his wife (which is the woman that he had left me for) and i’m not going to lie it brought up some past feelings and sad emotions back into my life. I’ve been dealing with this “heartbreak” for a while now and I am in a better place, but when I heard about him and his wife having a baby, my self esteem and self worth got into a really bad place again. Multiple people have told me to try these dating apps because they feel that I have been hanging onto this breakup for too long now (3 years too long) and there are moments when I feel weak and have thought about this online dating situation so I can have another guys to think about or cry about or get mad about instead of me always going back to my ex. It’s hard and its been hard on me for awhile now, but I really appreciate you bringing up that question of what is the true reason to be going on dating apps. As i thought about that question more, like many other women, i would be going on it for validation of my worth/beauty/character/etc. there is a part of me where I have thought about going on these apps to practice dating again or practice talking to guys again who are interested in me because ever since my ex, I havent been able to say yes to a date/no guy has come up to me that I found to be genuinely interested in. It just sucks bc i feel that my ex put this standard in my head because he was such a great and good guy to me to the point where I feel like any guy i meet.....doesnt compare to him. I feel trapped in my own thoughts and in the past....idk if u would have any advice on this at all but felt the need to share this bc its been a struggle for me these past few days. But again, thank you for your advice on the dating apps, I will always keep in mind your question during my moments of weakness❤️
Zane Lukjanova (9 months ago)
Right now I wish that I could watch this video before few months. And even I know you posted only now, but oh. Because I meet my ex boyfriend on dating app, but he don’t look for anything serious. He talks about lots of stuff, but when we spend night together, after that he was disgusting to me or better I can say I was disgusting for myself about what I did. And after that we broke up. And in this case I put myself back in those situations because I’m looking for approving that I’m beautiful, I’m loved. And this all shape my relationship with God and it’s hard to find way back to God.
Chydova (9 months ago)
So how is online dating overall? I tired it and its not for me. Still haven't met anyone though, but guys online seem to be interesting....not in a positive view.. I'm praying to God to send me a good guy. Lord hear my prayer!
Andi Harris (9 months ago)
"Wait until you know who you are and whose you are." This was such an incredible statement, and it flowed out of your mouth like a food order. You truly speak truth, Emily. Such an amazing role model!
Ann (9 months ago)
I so appreciate the truth you spoke in this video! After 3 years of subscribing to and paying for myriad dating sites, I decided that this year one of my New Years resolutions was to not use dating sites at all. They did nothing for my bank account or my self-esteem. It has truly been freeing. Thank you again for this reminder! So thankful for you and your words of wisdom on dating, relationships, and marriage! I recently got your book for my birthday and can't wait to start reading it! Blessings to you and Daniel!
melonfrogful (9 months ago)
Hey Emily, can you talk about this year's met gala? What are your thoughts and opinions?
Grace Dausman (8 months ago)
That's a great topic! One of my favorite Catholic bloggers wrote an amazing post on it. Here's the link: https://justahandmaiden.com/2018/05/11/my-take-on-the-met-gala-2018-a-new-opportunity-for-evangelization/
Colleen Lassa (9 months ago)
melonfrogful https://youtu.be/UOsNFk1Db7o watch this !!
Mary Holterman (9 months ago)
I love the happy "bye!!" at the end of all your videos!
Amy Balu (9 months ago)
What do you think about same sex relationships?
Amy Balu (9 months ago)
Emily Wilson thank you so much :) <3
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
This talk offers a comprehensive review on what I think on this topic. Feel free to give it a watch all the way through if you'd like to know! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWZ171V0wEQ&t=2s
Natalie Diamond (9 months ago)
This was great! So important to know what you’re looking for and always ensure that you’re in it for all the right reasons. Not easy for someone else to try and figure you out because you’re not sure of who you are. Great video :)
Araminta Williams (9 months ago)
Dating apps never go well to me would rather meet them in person so they're not crazy.
Gabrielle Raymond (9 months ago)
Super well spoken Emily!! Really loving Go Bravely - you're a gem!! Thank you for your ministry!
Jessica Patchan (9 months ago)
I’m curious why exactly you chose 21 as the point dating app use becomes appropriate?? I don’t see much of a difference between a 20 y/o and a 21 y/o other than a legal ability to drink. Certainly someone in high school shouldn’t be using dating apps but in college I think it’s fine. It seems like an arbitrary age to set when much more relevant is maturity
VeganVintageGeek (9 months ago)
Emily Wilson Exactly...
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
I think 21 is appropriate because 21 is when a large majority of people are graduating college - and I don't think dating apps are a necessary tool to be meeting people in college.
Eli Tro (9 months ago)
Hi Emily! Where can I go to ask you questions so that I can hear your response? I’ve seen so many of your Ask Emily videos but I’ve been confused as where I am supposed to go or what app to use to ask you questions. Thank you for this video by the way! :) <3
Rhea Silvia Campbell (9 months ago)
The thought of dating apps actually really scares me. I’m 27 and have never been on one. The notion of putting myself out there for someone to “swipe past” is painful. I feel like I’m the only one thinking this. I get a lot of “encouragement” from my peers to join which feels very invasive. I’m a strong person so can easily say no. A younger person might be swayed. Bless x
Clare Garnet (9 months ago)
Rhea Silvia Campbell Hi Rhea, I totally understand what you're saying. I've never been on a dating app but I did try online dating for a few weeks. I too didn't like the thought of men judging me by my appearance so I deleted my account. After much prayer and discernment I felt God leading me back to one of the sites I'd tried (Catholic Match) and I straight away "found" my now boyfriend of 8 months. God works in mysterious ways but as long as we're trying to do his will all will work out the way it's supposed to. Best of luck! P.S. I was 27 at the time too!
VeganVintageGeek (9 months ago)
Rhea Silvia Campbell Way to go! My only online which turns into in real life is meetup.com. These are in real life people meeting up in groups who have a shared interest. At first when I joined meet up I thought I'd end up meeting a guy and was super disappointed when it never happened. Now I just go to the meet ups to hang out and meet new people without wondering/expecting a guy to ask me out. And I end up having so much fun. Same with the once a month meet up for any one who wants to come hang out play board games, ping pong, and shoot pool at my church in a no pressure meet up. This works out great since my church is huge and I've gotten to hang out/meet some really fun interesting people.
Claudia Okyere-Fosu (9 months ago)
Awesome great 👍 advice 😀
Quinn E (9 months ago)
Love this! I realized about 5 months into my experience on dating apps that I was truly just using it for attention and validation and it just left me empty. I have no desire to go back to them. Thanks for sharing Emily!
Jerri Minton (9 months ago)
Thank you! I am a single mom of two children. I just deleted my dating app this morning. I had a long prayer time this morning about it and felt like this wasn't for me.
Léa B (9 months ago)
Gosh I love your videos. Please never stop making them! Love you Emily <3
Fireflycolor1 (9 months ago)
I think it's one of those things you have to discern with God before jumping on it. He will let you know if it's necesary for you, even (and this is hard to accept but it's the true) if it means to get marry older than you espected. I know the case of a woman whose vocacion whas marriage, at 50 or so she discern to use a dating app and in 3 months she was married with a awesome man. I don't mind get marry old if that's God's plan for me. I would rather to be married older in a saint marriage than younger in a just ok marriage. I know it's hard to realise that the times of God aren't the same as yours when you discover your vocation it's to marriage. Ups such a long coment! Anyway I want to say it because I know cases of people that got into dating apps because they got impatient (or got afraid of be too old to have kids). God bles you Emily 😁 Pd: Just to clarify, I don't mean to say to get marry only if you find the "perfect man". That doesn't exist because the only perfect is God. And of course a marriage have it's ups and downs, and in some moments it'll be just ok (that's one of the beauties of marriage. We can stand up again!) Sorry for the possible mistakes. English it's not my first language 😰
Mother Of Pearl (9 months ago)
Thank you for your sound advice, i appreciate your honesty.
True2Live (9 months ago)
Great video! Just curious if you’d ever thought of making a video on couples who struggle with infertility and IVF God bless
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Aha! Totally get it!
Ali-Marie Ingram (9 months ago)
Emily Wilson and OMG 50 Shades Freed was just the opening ad for this video this time I came back 😵
Ali-Marie Ingram (9 months ago)
Emily Wilson Lol! The “heart” that’s to the right of the thumbs up & thumbs down for the Channel creator! I liked your comment a lot and wish I could “heart” it instead of just giving it a thumbs up! That’s all ☺️
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Ali-Marie, clarify what you mean by the heart to push?
Kelsey Taylor (9 months ago)
I think I'm in your small precentage I found out last year I couldn't have kids. I do have a heart condition I'm pretty sure the doctors said that due to my heart condition.
Tatiana DTY (9 months ago)
I'm turning 16 and have no interest in dating any time soon, but honestly I don't see the point in dating apps. I've been doing online school for the past 4 years though and it's hard enough for me to communicate with a lot of my friends. So, I personally have a bit of an aversion to the idea of dating on any online platform... Also, off topic but I have to ask: would you consider making a video on periods? I know it might be a bit off from what you normally talk about but I think it's important to know about your own body. And, coming from a Catholic teenager, I'd really like to hear any advice or anything you'd have to say about the topic. I have trouble looking for videos that are actually informative and asking doctors that just want to shove birth control down my throat. I get a bit embarrassed asking someone else about anything period-related... Love your videos btw and just started reading Go Bravely! ❤️☺️
VeganVintageGeek (9 months ago)
Tatiana DTY PreciousStarsPads has great advice. And I've never heard her once talk about birth control.
kk9591 (9 months ago)
What a beautiful reminder
Mariah Price-Perez (9 months ago)
AH! You’re glowing mamas :D
kayla gagnon (9 months ago)
I need that shirt in my life! Lol
Martin (9 months ago)
Interesting perspective, I hadn't thought of that a certain percentage of women seek validation if they're pretty or not. Personally I wouldn't care much tbh because all I need is to find that one woman to spend the rest of my life with, hopefully. But that's just me.
Eileen B (9 months ago)
Emily, this video could not have come at a better time in my life. I recently was on a dating app (Coffee Meets Bagel, actually) for a couple of months, but deleted it last week. I met a few guys on there and met them in person. They were all great guys, but over time, I asked myself the same question you posed in this video. By asking myself this, I realized that I have to work on myself more before bringing someone into my life to begin a relationship with. So, now I am taking this time in my life to work on me. Thank you for making this video and all that you do. <3
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Proud of you :) Very smart choice that will certainly bear fruit in your life!
icyangel13 (9 months ago)
Loved this video! I deleted all my dating apps after considering your words, Emily. I've recently started dating someone that is interested in marriage and shares my values, it's going really well, but I was reluctant to delete the apps, and I didn't know why. After watching this video I realized it was because I had gotten used to the validation I got from them, even if I had no actual intention of "hooking up". It is addicting to be sure! Even with a great guy and great prospects, I was still holding on to that toxic validation! Thank God for people like you, keeping it real. ;)
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Proud of you that you did the hard thing and really thought seriously about it! So glad it is going well in your current relationship! Keep your heart up!
Ro Mar (9 months ago)
I love you Emily. I hope you come to Australia again but this time to Perth!! Please! I want to see your conference
emily ludwig (9 months ago)
This was so great!! Thank you for your kind words! ❤️
Ashley Skyflier (9 months ago)
You're gonna be a great mom.
Paul and Morgan (9 months ago)
I agree :)
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Thank you Ashley :)
Paul and Morgan (9 months ago)
Interesting topic, Emily! We met on Tinder and now we’re married 😊 I do think it’s smart to be a little older before hopping on a dating app. And yep, that’s the key question, “what am I looking for?” If two people are looking for something serious it can work!
mariemakeup101 (9 months ago)
You are so so so so wise Emily! I'd love to meet you💖 if you're ever doing a speaking engagement in Minnesota I will be there!
Cami Rose (9 months ago)
This is SO important! Especially for young women who are coming into the dating world, on or off line. Love your videos Emily!
Emily Wilson (9 months ago)
Thanks for watching Cami!

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